User Profile

I will fill this in later I promise. I don't want to rush it and put something lame just to fill it in. Give me a couple days I promise! Single 29 year old female with a massively shitt-ay life. I'm here to be anonymous because I need to vent some stuff and am petrified of the internet for so many reasons. Please don't be afraid to response. I'm here to get help understanding life and to not feel so alone in the universe. Wow on the fly that was pretty good but I'll add more soon!!

As promised the rest.

Hmm, where to begin?

I've had an LJ for years (2002) but I chose to create a new journal in hopes of remaining anonymous and say what I need, to get through what I'm going through.

The past 5 years have been extremely difficult. Especially the past 3. 3 Years ago my bf at the time confessed to infidelity. Long story short it got quite ugly. I was numb the whole time. A year later after really trying to get past it, I ended it. Seeing him made me feel sick, and it wasn't going away anytime soon. I know I gave it all I could. I know his choices ruined us. 2 days later I was hit by car walking home. By all means I was lucky it wasn't worse but I suffer back pain pretty much daily as a result. I tried 8 months of physio but gave up because it was just a money pit, as soon as I would feel better, suddenly my exercises changed and i started to feel worse. It was probably then a red flag went off about the medical industry.

Approximately July of 2007 I found a lump in my breast. I honestly didn't really panic. I've had lumps and cysts all over before. Throughout my teens i had a few surgeries for cysts, it's just a genetic thing. No real cure for it except surgery. Kind of sucks but I've learned to live with it.

So i went to my family dr, my gyno and both said it's no big deal just go to the hospital to have it drained. I did and they didn't drain it. They did a biopsy. Quite painful. But I still had the cyst.

Fortunately results came back no cancer, but it was unknown what it was. They had though it was mastitis but it ended up just being a bad absess deep in my chest. So i bounced from Dr to Dr trying to get someone to operate and remove the lump. Because of where it was, it was a tough surgery (I guess?). I finally got referred to an oncologist and he agreed to operate. I don't know if leaving it and doing more tests would have been "better" I don't think that was the moment things turned wrong. I had surgery, they stitched it, and within about 4 days I knew something was wrong. I was feverish and feeling really ill. to be continued....... that was only Dec of last year LOL. We still have a year to cover ... but medication calls... Be back

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